Friday, July 29, 2005
Brocks new smile.
Brocks surgery was a success. He was first case so thankful he did not have to starve too long. We saw his new smile at 10:00 am. The surgeon, Dr. Stal, tried his hardest to get us back to see him before the swelling had set it. That way we could see what he would like after the swelling went down. Before we went back he said to us "the repair was a 10 on the scale of difficulty. Don't get your hopes up." My heart sank. I don't know what he was talking about....It may have been hard but he looks AMAZING. It is nothing short of a miracle. Dr. Stal is a very gifted surgeon. Brocks whole face looks different. His big blue eyes look even bigger! It has made him look a little older too.
The recovery has been rough. The first 24 hours was extremely hard on all of us. It is so hard to watch your baby come out of a comatosed state and be in so much pain. I think what makes it even worse is that he is now old enough to get MAD! And boy was he ever angry. He would go from me to Joe to Grandma searching for the person who could take all the pain away. Whenever someone new came to visit he would go to them to see if they had the magic touch. He is doing much better today. Now we just have to deal with the arm restraints which of course he hates. He needs constant supervision so that he doesn't touch his face. His circumcision has healed nicely so that relieved alot of his discomfort.
I am so thankful to have my mother here. She has taken the night shift since the surgery and I am able to get plenty of sleep. She also has kept the laundry and house work up and I will always be forever greatful for that. Chase has been in vacation bible school all week. He loves his brothers new smile and spends lots of time helping him "try it out". Believe it or not Brock is already smiling! What a trooper he is. He is now starting to sleep better too!
Thank you all for your kind emails, phone calls and flowers. I can't tell you how much you all mean to us.
Tarah
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Going to the hospital
It is with a very sad and heavy heart that I take Brock to the hospital today for yet another procedure. This time they will be erasing what I have grown to love the most...his smile. His smile will no longer be so wide that it encompasses the room mearly by its size. What at birth I wanted fixed so badly is now what I secretly long to keep. I have photographed it endlessly from every angle and that should bring me peace but it will not be the same in person. It was what was created by God through my body and no matter how hard I wish it would not have happened I do not want it taken away. I am so blessed to have Brock because he has taught me that a mothers love is stronger than any love in the world. I am thankful that I am lucky enough to experience this pain first hand. So off I go to rip Brock from a peaceful sleep much like he was riped from from my womb. For everyone that knows Brock I am sure you too will be feeling my pain. He is so strong..beautiful...sweet....MINE.
Love Tarah
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God." (Psalm 25:1a)